So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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