at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
