My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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