I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
