Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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