She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
