i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
