dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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