This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
