listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
