but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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