well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
