Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize