I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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