can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
