Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
