Do you still have your period?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
