I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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