Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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