btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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