Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
