you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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