I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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