names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
