Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
