Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
