she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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