College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
