True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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