Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
either way he was missing a nipple.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
