Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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