Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
