So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
