Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
