eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
