Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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