I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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