I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
