Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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