And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
