wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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