i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw a hot homeless man
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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