So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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