Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize