U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
where are my eyebrows?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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