Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
