Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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