I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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