Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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