I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
