if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
