I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
