found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
