i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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