"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The uberlube is also flammable
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize