You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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