hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
